Subtle hints
wavering consciousness
unable to digest
the worm inside
claustrophobic
you rush outside
and meet
indignant disgusted eyes.
Subtle thoughts
hammer incessantly
rush out once again
eyes shut tight
and stumble through the
glaring corridor of eyes
meet the lips
and your world shudders
hold on for a second longer
trying to protest
to your own gullibility.
Macho me, feminine me
optimist me, pessimist me
pretentious me
fight all day long
I am superman
but never god
cast a spell
the whole world at my feet
I am a medley of life's songs
orchestrated and choreographed
by my Karma.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
WALK
I’ve traveled this road quite often
seen myself make a mess out of it.
it cant be undone -
and i simply wish i could
undo it like a sweater
and roll the roads into a ball
carry it with me
lay it down
walk on it
as an when I like .
Then my world would be simpler.
Then I would understand
why I am walking the same road again.
I will walk it when I have to,
I won’t have to stumble
each time I walk the road
‘cus then I'll know why I need to walk.
seen myself make a mess out of it.
it cant be undone -
and i simply wish i could
undo it like a sweater
and roll the roads into a ball
carry it with me
lay it down
walk on it
as an when I like .
Then my world would be simpler.
Then I would understand
why I am walking the same road again.
I will walk it when I have to,
I won’t have to stumble
each time I walk the road
‘cus then I'll know why I need to walk.
THE SELF
I take a stand
refuse to listen,
thousands of souls inside me
each wanting to be seen
each trying to claim supremacy over the other.
I take a stand.
Remove myself from me
and look at all the souls.
I refuse to listen
a dumb show,
A great mime.
refuse to listen,
thousands of souls inside me
each wanting to be seen
each trying to claim supremacy over the other.
I take a stand.
Remove myself from me
and look at all the souls.
I refuse to listen
a dumb show,
A great mime.
Friday, February 13, 2004
BEAUTIFUL WORLD
beautiful world!
Invisible to the eyes,
like dust that tickles your throat and nose
predators live within everyone.
one stepping over the other
another topples, gets up and resumes.
blood thirsty, fanged beast.
human beings, animals, insects
all over the place
a beautiful sight
a beautiful world.
superiority complex, inferiority complex,
both struggling to get to the top.
shrewd, cruel, sly and slimy
crawl and creep
walk and fly
fast and slow
all moving towards the invisible mount.
the sun burns the scaly skin,
the scales vaporises and everyone
breathes deeply.
oxygen.
the sky painted fiery red.
the rivers drags
the flowers bloom deep red
anger, passion, hatred .
a wonderful sight
behold ... a beautiful world.
Invisible to the eyes,
like dust that tickles your throat and nose
predators live within everyone.
one stepping over the other
another topples, gets up and resumes.
blood thirsty, fanged beast.
human beings, animals, insects
all over the place
a beautiful sight
a beautiful world.
superiority complex, inferiority complex,
both struggling to get to the top.
shrewd, cruel, sly and slimy
crawl and creep
walk and fly
fast and slow
all moving towards the invisible mount.
the sun burns the scaly skin,
the scales vaporises and everyone
breathes deeply.
oxygen.
the sky painted fiery red.
the rivers drags
the flowers bloom deep red
anger, passion, hatred .
a wonderful sight
behold ... a beautiful world.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Continuation… THIMPHU
Curiosity. Everything around us were subjected to intense scrutiny. The need to touch, feel and know about it. An apple tree that grew slanted nestled its upper mass on the roof of our house. Summer had set in. Blossoms were replaced by budding fruits. Climbing on to the roof, Sangay Deki (neighbours daughter) and I savoured the apples. Later that evening both of us got sick… loose motion and giddiness. Curiosity indeed killed the cat.
I grew up in Thimphu, the place I grew to love. Most unforgettable memories are tied up with this small town which grew with each passing year. I was born in Thimphu. I had my operation done at the JDWNR Hospital in Thimphu, I had my schooling till the 12th standard in Thimphu and I had walked the same road to school for almost nine years in Thimphu.
Memories seep in and a kaleidoscope of colours fills my senses.
Kanglung, where I had my degree course took me out of Thimphu. An altogether different world of freedom and indulgence. Life tuned into another beat, friendship became the foremost thing and protected you twenty-four hours a day. Thoughts were vocalised, dreams turned into reality…or maybe reality turned into dreams in this dream world I lived in.
Home was not a distant memory, I missed home terribly, it beckoned and first year of college ended with excitement or returning home.
Disappointment. On reaching Thimphu disappointment gripped me. The same road that I had walked for years looked crowded. Friends became once in a week affair… yes something out of the family affair. Reality struck, I had grown in another place. Thimphu had grown too, without me.
Alienation. I remember that the only thing I talked about was returning back to college. Am I a hypocrite? All those calls I had made saying how much I missed home. Was it just a façade to hide the happiness I found in Kanglung. Was it guilt? Like children sneaking out and devouring chocolate?
I look at it now and I realise that I had wanted the goodness of both worlds. Family and friends. I also realise that I can’t and this is how it is. My younger sister, Tshering Norbu Uden grew up without me, like Thimphu did. Returning back after graduiating from college, I came home with expectation to see Chey chey (we call her by this name at home) a baby whom I could love and spoil. I reached home and found her all grown up, nearly my size. What could I say, frustrated expectation and realisation too. Its not that I can’t love her or spoil her now that see is grown up, but I feel I have missed my part in her childhood. I sound too possessive but that’s how I am. I hate the word ‘compromise’ but I stumble across it every day of my life.
Curiosity. Everything around us were subjected to intense scrutiny. The need to touch, feel and know about it. An apple tree that grew slanted nestled its upper mass on the roof of our house. Summer had set in. Blossoms were replaced by budding fruits. Climbing on to the roof, Sangay Deki (neighbours daughter) and I savoured the apples. Later that evening both of us got sick… loose motion and giddiness. Curiosity indeed killed the cat.
I grew up in Thimphu, the place I grew to love. Most unforgettable memories are tied up with this small town which grew with each passing year. I was born in Thimphu. I had my operation done at the JDWNR Hospital in Thimphu, I had my schooling till the 12th standard in Thimphu and I had walked the same road to school for almost nine years in Thimphu.
Memories seep in and a kaleidoscope of colours fills my senses.
Kanglung, where I had my degree course took me out of Thimphu. An altogether different world of freedom and indulgence. Life tuned into another beat, friendship became the foremost thing and protected you twenty-four hours a day. Thoughts were vocalised, dreams turned into reality…or maybe reality turned into dreams in this dream world I lived in.
Home was not a distant memory, I missed home terribly, it beckoned and first year of college ended with excitement or returning home.
Disappointment. On reaching Thimphu disappointment gripped me. The same road that I had walked for years looked crowded. Friends became once in a week affair… yes something out of the family affair. Reality struck, I had grown in another place. Thimphu had grown too, without me.
Alienation. I remember that the only thing I talked about was returning back to college. Am I a hypocrite? All those calls I had made saying how much I missed home. Was it just a façade to hide the happiness I found in Kanglung. Was it guilt? Like children sneaking out and devouring chocolate?
I look at it now and I realise that I had wanted the goodness of both worlds. Family and friends. I also realise that I can’t and this is how it is. My younger sister, Tshering Norbu Uden grew up without me, like Thimphu did. Returning back after graduiating from college, I came home with expectation to see Chey chey (we call her by this name at home) a baby whom I could love and spoil. I reached home and found her all grown up, nearly my size. What could I say, frustrated expectation and realisation too. Its not that I can’t love her or spoil her now that see is grown up, but I feel I have missed my part in her childhood. I sound too possessive but that’s how I am. I hate the word ‘compromise’ but I stumble across it every day of my life.
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